Sergeant Patrick McCaffrey, Senior
Memorial website in the memory of your loved one
Tributes and Condolences
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To Nadia and the wife and children of Partick McCaffrey  / Stella XXX (Friend)

"To Nadia and the wife and children of Partick McCaffrey.

I just want to say that I am sadened by the death of your son, husband and father. I never met Patrick, but I knew him. He was a good friend to me, and when I heard of his death, I was so devistated. I cryed for weeks, couldnt believe this happened to him. He was a fine man, so full of love for his family and friends. He is truly missed, but I know Patrick is with the Lord now, watching and protecting his family and friends. God bless you."
Stella of central california

I have planted a daffodil for you Patrick  / Ruth Anderson (Friend)

"I have planted a daffodil for you Patrick, along with 49 more bulbs to represent other soldiers who have been killed in Iraq. Your flower will be seen every year and your sacrifice remembered."
Ruth Anderson of Mountain View , California

MEMORIES... / Jason Gramlick (Friend)

January 18, 2006
Pat, I have some great memories of the few years we were in the N.G. I never will forget you!!!

I'm so sorry this happend.
   Jason Gramlick (Vallejo, CA )


Missing you Pat...  / Brian Hallivell (Friend)

"So sorry to hear of your loss. I went to High School with and played football with Pat. I also lost another friend, Pat Tillman to the war. Please know that my thoughts are with you and that Pat will be missed."
Brian Halliwell of Hermosa Beach, CA

Email / Brian Halliwell (Friend)

"So sorry to hear of your loss. I went to High School with and played football with Pat. I also lost another friend, Pat Tillman to the war. Please know that my thoughts are with you and that Pat will be missed."
Brian Halliwell of Hermosa Beach, CA

2005 Giving Thanks  / Nadia McCaffrey (Mother)
Second Year
Without Patrick

Memories; August in Crawford, the end of this long day, hot, sticky 105 degrees, in Texas. I am sitting next to a tent, I don't want to move, I am breathing deeply, holding the cooler air into my lungs, like an elixir. There still is some red-purplish colors in the sky, when the sound of TAPS suddenly exploded, startling my whole being.

Standing next to the Arlington-West Memorial, a Marine is playing Taps for is fellow soldiers recently killed in Iraq. A circle of candlelight appeared revealing people's shadows. Tears are now rolling down my face onto my chest.
At times, I feel that I am sadly hugging emptiness, darkness...
Hope, Forgiveness, Tolerance and Love is what we need to rebuild our lives and survive, in order to have a Tomorrow for our children and grand children.
November 22, 17 month ago today, my beloved Sunshine was killed near Balad, Iraq. In two days the family will have to face and live through the second Thanksgiving without our Darling Patrick. His warm and contagious smile flashes in my mind-eyes and soon I am smiling as well, memories are everywhere to be seen, felt and heard.
The most unexpected; a scent or a sound will rush a flood of tears to my eyes and take me back to Patrick's first birthday... His first day at Bishop School, in Sunnyvale; stepping in the middle of a first grade fight to stop it, being hit a few times himself in the process, but, Patrick stood in the center until it was over. He, then,  walked one of the boys to the office, who needed a band-aid for his scrapped knees...

Thank you Patrick for 34 years of precious memories. You have been and you are a great Archangel, and YES I know that you are watching over us, as you say you would. I will honor you for the rest of my life. Your Mom
Thank you to Silvia(my daughter in law), thank you Bob,(Patrick's dad), Janessa, (my grand daughter),and Patrick Junior (my grand son). In Peaceful Service.  Nadia McCaffrey
Memories / Nadia McCaffrey (Mother)
A Tribute to a soldiers Mother  / Bonnie Hobbs-Wade (Friend in Christ )
Dear Nadia,  I have seen you on TV and in the Newspapers and I think that your fight should not be in vain. I pay tribute to Patrick as a Friend in Christ and wish to send you Blessings and Love for the hurt that you have in your soul for your Son. I can't understand why or how many more of our Sons, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters must die for Bush. If it was one of his would it make a difference? How many more Mothers will have to join you for your voice to be heard? That will just mean more deaths. The Lord did not mean for us to battle each other  until death. Lord I pray for peace in Patrick and all others that has been killed in the line of dutys name.
Memories  / Mark (Childhood friend )

"Nadia and Family, this message board is a wonderful thing. It has taken me awhile to truly put my thoughts together and memories to where I want to share of the love of a great friend. Patrick was one of my first friends and many who he knew later in his life may not have known him as I did when we were children. Patrick lived in the house behind my Grandma's in Sunnyvale on Roosevelt Street and always came to our family to share in with us and our parties, Christmas and Birthdays. Patrick and I would always play in Grandma's back bedroom with her multitude of thrift store toys that seemed like gold to us. We were friends, and the best kind of friends. Everytime My 2 Sisters Tammy and Wendy and my Cousin Kathy would be over Grandma would tell us to go into the back and get Patrick so he could join in the fun! Patrick always was a leader even as children, and so smart. He loved my Great Grandma and she loved him too. They always remembered Patrick at Chrsitmas with gifts, they loved him as their own. When Great Grandma died in March of 1985 Patrick and his Father Bob attended the funeral in San Jose and brought yellow roses, Great Grandma's favorite. He was always thoughtful and we have many happy memories of him in our childhood, always talented and speaking well of his Father and the many adventures traveling to see his Mother Nadia. He even gave me some Tahaitan Francs from one of his trips to which I still have and treasure to this day! He once had a yard sale and sold me a ventriliquist dummy to which at age 9 he wrote me out a receipt for the $7.00 I paid! He always knew how to take care and handle business, even as a child. I will always remember Patrick as a great childhood friend to which I share many memories and his dog LuLu!!!! His gentle Father Bob and beautiful Mother Nadia- My prayers are that God let him rest and that the world may know the sacrifice of this great person. My only goal is to continue to support Nadia in her efforts and Patrick's children in their future so they may know their Dad was a very awesome guy. My familys love to his."
Mark Nelson of Sacramento, California

Sacramento Mom  / Ruth Chapin (None)
Sacramento Mom

Sacramento Mom
You dared to break the silence,
You dared to show the coffin of your son
Killed in Iraq, for all to see,
You dared to say the war was wrong,
Words from your dead son's lips.

Sacramento Mom,
We need a chorus of Moms like you,
We need a million Moms
Marching in the streets,
Crying, "Wake up! Wake up!
Our young are dying,
Their hearts, their souls,
Their bodies scarred and maimed,
Consumed in the deadly game of war."

Sacramento Mom, you give us hope.
You refused to bury your son quietly.
You and all the other Moms and Dads
Who dare to speak out from their hearts
Can help us put an end to war.

                                Ruth Shapin

This poem was inspired by an article in the Los Angeles
Times (6/29/04) about Nadia McCaffrey, the mother of
national guardsman Patrick McCaffrey, who was killed in
Iraq. The poem was sent to the Sacramento Bee on July 2,

We are Made For This Times!  / Clarissa Pinkola Estes

WE ARE MADE FOR THESE TIMES . . . by Clarissa Pinkola Estes


Mis estimados: †Do not lose heart. †We were made for these times. †I have heard from so many recently who are deeply bewildered and concerned about the state of affairs in our world right now.

Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people. You are right in your assessments. †The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. †Yet, I urge you, ask you gently, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times.

Especially do not lose hope. We were made for these times. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plane of engagement. †I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. †Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able crafts in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind.

Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless. †We have been in training for a dark time such as this, since the day we assented to come to Earth.

In any dark time there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or untended in the world. †Do not focus on that. †There is a tendency too to fall into being weakened by persevering on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. That is spending the wind without raising the sails. †We are needed, that is all we can know. †And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear.

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world within our reach. Any small thing that one soul can do to help another, to assist some portion of this suffering world, will help immensely. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale!

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. †Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. †The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.

There will always be times when you feel discouraged. †I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it or allow it to eat from my plate. In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. †It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: †When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. †But that is not what great ships are built for.

This comes with much love and prayer that you remember who you came from, and why you came to this beautiful, needful Earth. †Breathe in and breathe out light and love daily.

All is well.

Prayer to Our Lady  / Nadia McCaffrey (Mom)
Happy Birthday ma "Petite Maman du Ciel" I gave you my only son on June 22, fallen in Iraq, he just turned 34, like you I will feel this pain for ever. I have forgiven they, who have killed him. I am at peace in my heart, and love is, to serve you, please, take good care of him until we meet again. I love you and pray to you so you give me your strength to fulfill my mission on this earth. In you Service, In your Light, In your Peace. Happy Birthday, je seme une pluie de petales de roses a tes pieds. Nadia
1000 Soldiers Killed...  / Andrew Buncombe

The American casualty

Nadia McCaffrey's son, Patrick, a member of the California National Guard, was killed on 22 June this year when his unit was ambushed in the city of Balad, 85 miles north of Baghdad. In January Mrs McCaffrey will join other American mothers whose sons have died in combat and travel to Iraq to meet relatives of Iraqis who have been killed by the US and British invasion.

"We will be mothers [speaking] to mothers," she said. "I don't know [why there is less discussion of civilian casualties]. It is very disturbing."

Mrs McCaffrey said her son, who left a widow and two children, often wrote to her about the Iraqi people, especially the young children who gave him flowers. When her son's body was returned to Sacramento airport she defied President Bush's wishes by allowing the media to film it.

She also talked of her son's despair at the US presence in Iraq. "He was overwhelmed by the hatred there for Americans and Europeans," she told one reporter. "He was so ashamed by the [Abu Ghraib] prisoner abuse scandal. He even sent me an email to tell me that not all the soldiers were like that. He said we had no business in Iraq and should not be there. Even so, he wanted to be a good soldier."

Mrs McCaffrey said she and the other mothers may not be able to enter Iraq because of the lack of security. If not, there are plans to establish a peace camp at Amman, Jordan's capital.

Andrew Buncombe

One Yellow Balloon  / Nadia McCaffrey (Mom)


Thanks for getting back to me.  I thought you might like to know that I've sent out your son's story to all of my email contacts (including friends, family and coworkers).  I've had SO many people replying, thankful that I shared his story.  Living here in central PA, we really lead sheltered lives.  Now, we are all much more aware of the sacrifice that your son and many others have made for us.  I've been trying to figure out why the balloon landed in my backyard.  I was hopeful that Patrick had some ties to PA and that it was a sign to his family that he is OK.  Maybe the only reason that it landed here was to open our eyes and to make us appreciate life!


May you find Peace,



PS  The following is the email that I sent:  (I hope you don't mind.)


On the 4th of July, a yellow balloon with a tag front - "McCaffrey, Patrick R., Sr. Tracy, CA", back - Bible verse "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends John 15:13" came down in our backyard. Greg found the balloon next to our back door. We initially thought that a local organization had released a bunch of balloons for a 4th of July celebration with the names of soldiers killed in action. Still, I kept the tag and brought it in to work to research on the internet. Today, I finally had time to do some investigating. I found an article about a soldier killed in Iraq on June 22. The article indicated that at Patrick McCaffrey's memorial service on July 2nd in Oceanside, CA yellow balloons were released by the children.

Can you believe that the balloon traveled across the country in 2 days and ended up in our backyard? I believe that everything happens for a reason. I found Patrick's mother's email address on the internet and sent her a note. Who knows, maybe he has a history in PA and this was a sign from him to his family?! Not knowing what to do with this incident, I thought the least I could do was relay Patrick McCaffrey's story. Please read his story at the following link:

Remember all of those that have fought for our country today and in the past. Whether you agree with war or not, there are people giving their lives for our freedom! Patrick is survived by his parents, a wife, a 2 year old daughter, a 9 year old son and countless other friends and family. It is our obligation to remember him (and all of the others)!

Thanks for listening.



First Thanksgiving [2004] without Patrick  / Nadia McCaffrey (Mom)
Dear friends, I hope that your Thanksgiving was a wonderful one, last night my thoughts where with all of you, I am thankful to know you, I will never forget all of you, for loving me and supporting us. Thank you for Caring.
As the family seat around the thanksgiving dinner, we all tried to keep some sort of a smile so the day wouldn't turn into a dreadful day; at this precise moment the future appeared heavy and dark. The painful loss of Patrick was deep and obvious to each one of us, including Janessa. I finally got up from the table and reach for one of our favorite picture of Patrick that I placed at the center of the table next to the candle and the green beans. My granddaughter stared at her Dad's picture and decided to have a conversation with her father [of course, only Patrick's Spirit and herself knew what the conversation was about, Janessa became joyful], her ability to touch our heart became a beautiful scene of Hope and made this painful evening livable. We ended the day watching a forgotten tape that Patrick and Silvia made when Janessa was not even a year old, it really was precious to all of us to hear his laugh and talking to Janessa with his usual great big smile.
Sergeant Patrick McCaffrey  / Chris Murphy (Friend)

Sergeant Patrick Ryan McCaffrey Sr. Sergeant Patrick McCaffrey, 34, of Tracy was killed in action by Insurgents, near Balad, Iraq; the first combat death in 58 year history of the California National Guard’s 579 Engineer Battalion from Petaluma. McCaffrey was ambushed and shot multiple times with automatic weapons; the attack came from both sides of his body, bullets pierced through the sides of his bulletproof vest. Even wounded, Patrick retuned fire, protecting his fellow soldiers, than collapsed next to T. Patrick McCaffrey died from massive internal bleeding on June 22 2004 at 11:45 am. Sergeant Patrick McCaffrey was attached to Alpha Company 579 Engineer Battalion; they are part of Task Force Tacoma, which is responsible for the security of LSA Anaconda. Patrick Ryan McCaffrey was born on May 26 at Stanford University Hospital in Palo Alto. Patrick grew up in Sunnyvale, graduated at Homestead High; he was the quarterback for his football team, the Mustangs, and later attended college at De Anza. Patrick is the father of 2 small children, Janessa, 3, and Patrick Junior, 9. He is survived by his wife Silvia and both parents Robert and Nadia McCaffrey, Patrick is an only child. Patrick joined the National Guard after 9/11, to serve the United States of America in a time of National crisis. Patrick was General Manager for AKINS in Palo Alto; he worked with Akins for 13 years. Quote: "Even though Sergeant McCaffrey was relatively new to the Army he had progressed quickly to a position of leadership and respect. He was a natural leader with his care for his fellow soldiers and the way others would look up to him for advice and follow his lead. He was a team leader, a position he was more than capable of handling. Sergeant McCaffrey’s contribution to the company as a Combat Life Saver was incredible. He constantly was ensuring that all the other CLS’s in the company had all the supplies in their aid bags and where ready. He provided care for the other soldiers constantly and was always providing tips to ISG about how the other soldiers could improve their health and well being When a CLS was called he was always one of the first, if not the first to respond. He looked after everyone in the company, always asking how everyone was doing and helping them with their problems. SGT McCaffrey was a hard charger and very proactive. His leadership has nothing but great things to say about him, and all the soldiers considered him a friend. Many of the soldiers considered him a close friend and will miss him greatly. Even though we are all stricken by his loss, it is really hitting us hard. He was more than just a friend to many of the soldiers, he was a brother". A close friend, a Brother and a fellow soldier: Chris Murphy.

The seed  / Elaine B. Holtz

The Seed 

By Elaine B. Holtz 

With the seeds of the sunflower running through my hands, 

I saw and felt the oneness of it all. 

For it is in the understanding of the seed that we see all. 

For we are all, all of the great divine the great process. 

Each and every form of life on this planet forms first within a seed. 

Perhaps even the big bang itself was a cellular explosion 

of the continuum of seed. 

The great mystery is a simple fact: We are all of seed. 

Our fractionations and habitats may be different, 

But our beginnings and needs are pretty much the same. 

All life as we know it needs air, oxygen, water, food, space and sleep. 

All life as we know it experiences various forms of transformation. 

All have their beginning time, their in-between time and their final time. 

There is no need to know anything beyond the truth of the seed. 

We are of one source.

Mother's Day, Boston, 1870  / Julia Ward Howe
Mothers' Day Proclamation: Julia Ward Howe, Boston, 1870
Mother's Day was originally started after the Civil War, as a 
protest to the carnage of that war, by women who had lost 
their sons. Here is the original 
Mother's Day Proclamation from 1870.
  Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts,
whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!
Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by
irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking
with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be
taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach
them of charity, mercy and patience.
We women of one country will be too tender of those of another
country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From
the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says "Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance
of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons
of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a
great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women,
to bewail and commemorate the dead.
 Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the
means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each
bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
but of God.
 In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a
general congress of women without limit of nationality may be
Stopping the Next War  / Elaine B Holtz

Stopping the Next War

By Elaine B. Holtz

If only I could get humans to see that greed does not feed our needs.

If only I could get humans to understand the mystery we all share,

The mystery of existing on a ball floating in a universe together yet separate.

If only the human species would see that it is simple to live in harmony.

Watch the freeway on a busy day,

Notice how we help each other along the way.

If only mothers and fathers would see that it is their sons and daughters who are soldiers fighting the battles and killing sons and daughters.

If only all parents would say, "enough!"

If only we would collectively see what we do today effects all tomorrows,

Ever aware that humankind suffers enough without the strife of wars sorrow.

If only we would acknowledge that it is more than peace we are seeking.

Like freedom to live and have all we need to survive so we can all stay alive,

Like clean water and air, fresh food, safe shelter and above all choice over our own bodies.

If only we would all acknowledge that we all have a part in what we bring forth whether it is war, freedom or peace.

If only we as a human family would aspire to "love your neighbor as yourself" then I believe we would all stop the next war, perhaps all wars.

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